Wednesday, April 15, 2009 — a notable date for no other reason than that on this day Oklahomans impersonated colonial Bostonians at a political “tea party,” marking the first time ever that any Okie cared to represent himself as a Yankee — brought yet another wave of foolish nonsense out of the Oklahoma state legislature. While their secessionist traitor-partners were filling parks and the downtown courtyards with gaggles of lemmings styled a la the Mad Hatter in crazy hats adorned with tea bags (Rebellion — brought to you by Tetley Tea!), the philosopher-morons at the Capitol were busy passing a resolution that mercifully kept them from the bothersome business of addressing the poor road conditions, spiking homelessness and abuse of children, and proliferation of drug manufacturing in the state. In the cool of spring, the ship of fools instead hoisted sail for the shoals of social conservatism and ran aground on their own stupidity.
“Be it resolved,” they said, “by the Senate and House of Representatives of the 1st session of the 52nd Oklahoma legislature that the State of Oklahoma hereby claims sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over all powers not otherwise enumerated and granted to the federal government by the Constitution of the United States; that this serve as Notice and Demand to the federal government as our agent, to cease and desist, effective immediately, mandates that are beyond the scope of these constitutionally delegated powers; that all compulsory legislation which directs states to comply under threat of civil or criminal penalties or sanctions or requires states to pass legislation or lose federal funding be prohibited or repealed.” In other words, we demand — in a completely impotent and non-binding way — that the federal government repeal the dreaded bailout of the states. Gobierno RINO in California may take the stimulus money, but we’d rather go bankrupt, thanks. We’ll happily drown in our smug self-satisfaction because we’d rather shoot ourselves in the foot than take money from a black man. Stimulus? We don’t need no stinking stimulus.
Doesn’t anyone take American history anymore? Or, do they only teach the far right-wing version nowadays? These idiots are relying on the exact same argument that John C. Calhoun, et al. tried to use to justify secession in the 19th century. The states are sovereign and in a mad flurry of anti-federalism, they will nullify federal law and even leave the union over breach of social contract. It’s the 21st century…and they are still fighting the Civil War. And, still, it’s all about race. There was no crazy secession talk in Oklahoma until segregation got shot down and the Dixiecrats revolted from LBJ’s party in the 1960’s. Ever since then, there’s been irrepressible strains of states’ rights and hostility to government (not the intruding fascist kind — we like that — but, rather, the benevolent welfare state). It is not coincidental that this resistance was closely connected in time to the civil rights movement. Racism and rebellion go hand in hand here. They always have. Just as slavery was tied to states’ rights in the 19th century, so today, white supremacy links to contemporary anti-federalism. Only, the philosopher-morons have spent too much time promoting their ideology and not enough time studying history. We’ve had this fight before. You remember the Civil War. Spoiler alert: the Lost Cause was, uh, lost. You are going to take the bailout and like it, or you can try to secede and prompt another civil war. It will hurt more this time, though, when the black president kicks your ass. By the way, there wasn’t this kind of crazy secessionist talk here when FDR was doling out the funds during the Great Depression. But, then, we don’t mind taking money from the Great White Father.
On the upside, my class’ final just got a whole lot easier to write: Recently, the Oklahoma legislature passed a resolution declaring the State’s sovereignty and demanding that the federal government stop passing legislation the locals declare unconstitutional. Explain how the Oklahoma legislature is full of shit. (Answer: explain the debate between the federalists and anti-federalists, the failure of the Articles of Confederation warranting a stronger federal government under the Constitution, the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Marbury v. Madison establishing the Supreme Court as the ultimate arbiter of constitutionality, Jefferson and Madison’s nullification theory, the reworking of that by John C. Calhoun, Andrew Jackson calling the nullifiers’ bluff over the tariff in the 1830’s, South Carolina recruiting other states to join the cause and promote secession, the Dred Scott case, the Civil War, and its outcome [i.e. the federal government is supreme and states do not have the power to nullify federal legislation].) That’s the political story of the first half of U.S. history in a nutshell. Hot damn!
Oh, and in case you philosopher-morons didn’t get it, when you use the U.S. Constitution as your authority, you are essentially conceding the superiority of the federal government. Jackasses.